Things Officials Want to Say

The Officials’ Corner with Henry Bray is brought to you by Walshs ACE Hardware and Rays Do It Best in Spring Green.

Officials’ Corner: Things Officials Want to Say

After more than 35 years of officiating and umpiring, I’ve seen some truly wild things on a ball field. I’ve seen coaches argue rules that don’t exist, parents celebrate a check swing as if their kid just won the World Series, and fans who somehow believe they have a better view from behind a chain-link fence with a bucket of popcorn or a fan sitting 90 feet away behind the third-base dugout, than the umpire standing three feet from the plate. 

One of my favorite moments happens more often than you’d think. 

Pitch comes in.

“Ball!”

Immediately from the stands:

“That was a GREAT pitch! It fooled them both!”

Next pitch comes in. Same location. Same result.

“Ball!”

Now the exact same parent yells:

“THAT’S THE EXACT SAME SPOT!”

And in my head I’m thinking:

“Yes and that’s a ball too.”

That’s the part people don’t realize about umpiring. Sometimes we hear contradictions just seconds apart. One pitch is “nasty” because the batter swung at it. The next pitch is suddenly “perfect” because it was close.

The strike zone doesn’t change because the crowd changed opinions between pitches.

And honestly, sometimes officiating is less about knowing the rules and more about mastering self-control. Because every official has moments where they want to answer back.

Not to argue.

Not to embarrass anyone.

Just to explain reality for a second.

But you can’t.

You smile internally, dust off the plate, and move on to the next pitch while the crowd continues its theatrical production of Law & Order: Youth Sports Unit.

Most officials develop selective hearing over time. It’s a survival skill. Somewhere around year ten you stop hearing individual comments and it all turns into background stadium music:

“C’MON BLUE!”

“CALL IT BOTH WAYS!”

“THAT’S A BALK!”

“HE WAS SAFE!”

“YOU MISSED THAT ONE!”

(And we do miss some at times)

By year thirty-five, you mostly just wonder if the people yelling realize they’re arguing two completely opposite points within the same at-bat.

But every once in a while, a comment is so perfectly ridiculous it follows you home and makes you laugh later.

And honestly, those moments are part of why so many of us keep coming back to the field.